Old Safety Booklet Art Meant to Scare Children to Death

Riding your bike is fun and good for your health… until it kills you in a very nasty, bloody manner! Yes, before the days of helmets and texting while riding, kids met horrible endings while playing on their bikes and other activities enjoyed by the Leave it to Beaver, 1960’s crowd. I guess God doesn’t like bikes for sinners!

So, let’s step back into the days of girls in neat skirts, boys with crew cuts and collared shirts, no homeless or people of color in a fantasy world of two-color printing, art that looks like it was drawn in prison, sentence breaks done by illiterates and certain death if you break the rules.

Especially if it’s in the middle of the road.

As opposed to the bikes we’ll see later on? At least this is a “clean” death.

It’s only red ink. Stop being such a crybaby!

No. Parked cars don’t move. It’s the moving cars you need to avoid. You would think cowboys would know that!

Chuck obviously had a one-track mind if he didn’t see the train coming. Darwinism in action!

“Crumpled” is a great word! Oh, and too bad about Elmer. Maybe some glue will help?

From a bike crash? Were they going 100 miles an hour? Sounds like Bill and Joe had an insurance scam going.

She was run down by the haircut police!

Is life in a town where all vehicles are red as frightening as it seems? Maybe they are already in Hell, suffering the same bike accident over and over… for eternity!

He seems bored by being on fire. I would be jumping around and screaming.

Another fatal accident caused by the killar misspelled sign truck!

Joe seems to be in a lot of accidents. Why do they keep giving him a bike… the implement of death?!

Then he is to blame and I don’t feel sorry for him at all. He was my least favorite Beatle, anyway!

“Another healthy boy?” Sounds like a pedo-writer was the author.

And once again, Joe is a killer. Won’t anyone stop him and his “Schwinn o’ Death”?!

It’s just too bad they couldn’t find the bike’s handlebars after the accident.

The badly drawn driver AND Jack seem very pleased. “YAY! Another healthy boy for Heaven!”

Will she ride a bike again?

 

Speider Schneider

Speider Schneider is a former member of The Usual Gang of Idiots at MAD Magazine and has designed products for Disney/Pixar, Warner Bros., Harley-Davidson, ESPN, Mattel, DC and Marvel Comics, Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon among other notable companies. Speider is a former member of the board for the Graphic Artists Guild, co-chair of the GAG Professional Practices Committee and a former board member of the Society of Illustrators. Follow him on Twitter @speider

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