Terrible, Horrible, Ghastly Book Cover Art (NSFW)

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We do judge a book by it’s cover. Sorry to dispel the old notion that it’s what’s underneath that counts because it usually doesn’t work with books and illustrated-cover snack cakes. The rumor is that J.K. Rowling submitted her Harry Potter book to 18 publishers before it was accepted. I gather the other 17 publishers make the books and covers included in this spotlight of the darkest examples of humanity — terrible, horrible, ghastly book cover art.

Its not just cheap-production, minor publishers that crank out this nightmare work. The age of self-published ebooks also bring homemade cover art that stretches the imagination and understanding for those who have no design skills but think they do.

So, the next time someone tells you they’re a published author, use your mobile device to look them up on Amazon. You can laugh hysterically from there.

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I wonder how often he “oils” Mrs. Welsch, “tinkers under her hood” and takes her for a “few laps” around the “south forty,” if you catch my drift?

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Is she holding ribbons to a head and phone balloons?

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Wasn’t she an actress in a 1980’s sitcom about a puppet alien? Was this her comeback killer?

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If you had a 3-piece suit made from denim, please ask for forgiveness and absolution in the comments section of this article. If you don’t post, then there’s an 80% chance you’re only kidding yourself!

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And, according to his finger position, he worships dark forces, which can only add to the adventure of this time traveling ninja, who is always on fire, which makes it hard to be stealthy, while chasing the Olympic Rings.

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I classic tome to teach children right from wrong, good from bad, crime from being a minimum wage sucker, then this is a great tool, to have your child collecting thousands of dollars in lunch money from other kids in elementary school. Imagine where they could be by high school! Start them off right for those coveted spots in the 1%.

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This is a better excuse than “it’s cold out,” “my underwear was too tight” or “now you can’t live!” Just tell ’em it’s invisible!

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1. Get a gun and face mask. 2. Take money from others who have it.

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NOW I know why dying people say, I’m coming, Lord!”

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Into the casket and then out of the closet.

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“He has a little Mozart in him!” Firstly, if your piano teacher shows up for your first lesson and your parents let him in, then you need to run away or turn in your parents to child services right away!

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Bet that’s the author on the cover. Glad she’s okay with being a BBW. Unfortunately, her hero is not. Hypocrisy reigns in the romance, sci-fi, diet tips book field.

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If he’s got “Bad Voltage” then why does he need those ammo belts wrapped around him?

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It’s all still mashed and strained, but for the sexy part, you roll around in it together. At least I hope that’s the explanation because anything else might be psychologically damaging.

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How many colors are you really required to use?

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 It’s another one of those illegally printed, non-licensed Star Trek/Mr. Spock rough sex books.

 *See more wonderfully hideous book covers HERE! And take a look at The Weirdest Books in the World (NSFW)

Top image ©GL Stock Images

Speider Schneider

Speider Schneider is a former member of The Usual Gang of Idiots at MAD Magazine and has designed products for Disney/Pixar, Warner Bros., Harley-Davidson, ESPN, Mattel, DC and Marvel Comics, Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon among other notable companies. Speider is a former member of the board for the Graphic Artists Guild, co-chair of the GAG Professional Practices Committee and a former board member of the Society of Illustrators. Follow him on Twitter @speider

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